"Lose your dreams and you will lose your mind" they said.
Sat there by the window,
drew up my knees, hugged them.
Stared into the pouring rain, on
Pink anthuriums and red ixoras
Thoroughly drenched and dripping wet
My chest heavy as I waited.
I knew that he knew, my restless eyes
Could spot him in an angry crowd.
He defined everything around me,
The time, the depth, the joy and the despair.
Shook water off his hair as he smiled,
The smile he had carried since boyhood, my only treasure.
I wasn't even thinking anymore, it
Suddenly felt so hard to cling to thoughts.
Smelled the rain on him, before
Tasting it in the hollow of his throat.
I existed only where his dark eyes rested
As desire shaped the rest of the night.
The storm continued to go wild around us,
And the night kept watch, like a faithful friend.
The rest was a frenzy of blurred images,
The angle of his collar bones, the strength in his arms,
His bony wrists and his perfect fingers.
He gathered all my broken pieces as a breeze lifted off.
It felt like a distant dream, a vision,
Even on the many nights that followed,
The cold, wet, humid, quiet nights.
Every time he walked away, he left behind
A garden, one that grew roots into my veins
And bloomed into my darkest corners.
Took his face into my hands
And drew it close to mine, eyes closed.
How long did it last? Did it even last?
Each time he left, he took away a part of me,
That I willingly let him steal ,
Deep down I knew, they were safer with him.
I want it and I want it now
Don't let the rain make me wait
"I know, it's not normal"
Trying to keep it masked
And then I hear your voice..
"We should wait"
Like shadows in slow motion
Apologies won't fix this
"You have no idea"
I can't handle it anymore
My breath gave it away
"Take me places"
Keep the fire burning
Pick the roses you planted..
People said they exist only in the movies
Books may be, that I dug into as a kid.
Got a bit older, and they faded away
I trusted they didn't exist anymore.
May be I was too romantic to be real,
May be 'cause of all the things I saw
Pushed to the verge of giving up.
Then came your shoulder to lean on
Saw myself in you
Shadows of your thoughts
Rest of the world turned to grey
A wave of perfection
A beautiful rhythm,
Running wild, changed everything.
Tell me you want me
With brimming desire
"In your eyes I'm at home"
Bring colour to my skies
Set my heart on fire
"Forgive me for breathing"
Kiss your way into our future.
I don't wish to wait any longer
Let it keep getting better each time
And I don't care if they stop to stare
I miss the taste of our sweet life
Like all the roads I took came to you
"Hands on each other"
"The closer the better"
Seeing our untold story unfold in my head every night,
Waking up with the taste of your lips on mine,
The sight of you breathing bringing me back to life,
The usual rush of thoughts before reality creeps back,
Only to remind me of solitude again.
Every morsel of this desire is sweet.
I would walk a million miles only to
Watch our worlds collide,
To hear you say my name
And let my fears fly high.
What if I would never get to hold you,
If not now, and never again?
That I wont settle for anything less,
Will this haunting ever end?
Shattering every piece of hope i carried.
But it is warm, full of life,
Filling every void I was left with.
While fear lurks its way back into me,
Taking over every nook and corner,
I am fighting a million battles every minute
Only to taste your fearless love
Even if it lasts for a mere moment.